


Roused

by SpiciestLlama



Series: Ignorance's Kiss [2]
Category: Joker Game (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-09-08 08:29:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8837623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpiciestLlama/pseuds/SpiciestLlama
Summary: If ignorance was bliss, Kaminaga would prefer to be a masochist.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Heyoooo~~~ I hope I was able to convey that this takes place prior to [Bother Me](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8690305%20) but it's not necessary to read both ೭੧(❛▿❛✿)੭೨ Though I do think that it's pretty clear! Also, if anyone feels that the rating is mislabeled, please do let me know! The mild sexual content does not appear for long and I don't feel that it's enough to go into Mature but there is a certain implication as well......though both are quite small parts. Please be forewarned ໒( ͡ᵔ ▾ ͡ᵔ )७

Kaminaga jolted awake as his eyes shot open fervently between heavy breaths; perspiration formulating and dripping down his forehead. A hazy line of vision floundered his better sense of judgement as his fingers grazed his face anxiously; grimacing at the touch of the surgical mask that concealed his mouth. He was blinking irrationally and biting down on his tongue, before shuddering at the frightening imagery that was circulating throughout his mind. This presence was unnerving and unwelcome as he could recall the hindering stare and graveling taunts; a touch that he was scarcely familiar with. He knew to pay heed despite the circumstances, as the uncertainty was far too maddening to turn a blind eye to; consequently reprimanding himself to play the role of a blissful ignorant.

Kaminaga’s calloused fingers began to stumble over themselves in memory of the rough trace that was trailed all over his being and greatly reminded him of his own fingertips. He froze in place to entertain the far too amusing thought and stifled a bitter chuckle. Perhaps he’s finally gone from tormenting others to tormenting himself. How astounding.

Raising his palms to his face, Kaminaga was wincing and shivering as he unraveled a sharp pain pushing at his chest; yet, he told himself it was just another side effect of the sickness he succumbed to. He pursed his lips as his hands grazed over his neck in an attempt to reassure himself of his existence and immediately scowled at the foolish action. It was almost as if he’d felt something immeasurably grotesque hidden beneath the fabric of his collar and couldn’t stop his body from quivering.

Taking a gentle whiff into his shirt, he managed to ease himself ever so slightly as he couldn't sense any alcohol, though that only provoked his hands to fist themselves into the sheets. Rest became a foreign concept to him this late in the year with deadlines steadily approaching. He could only barely make out an unopened bottle of whiskey from his memory; the echo of a distant whisper that threatened his well being and called out for him relentlessly. Shaking his head, he felt a wet cloth make its way down his face as he forced himself to sit up and plummeted his body back down; faltering immediately. He grunted at his pitiful state of being as his eyes lacked the strength to carry on and heaved a sigh; pressing forward against his will. He was now twitching at the familiar scent that enshrouded the bed and glimpsed at his surroundings as the mist in his eyes had come to pass.

Miyoshi was seated next to the bed with a clipboard in hand and highlighted textbook in his lap; attention completely secluded to his work. He was breathing slowly as the pen was being spun  frivolously out of habit and began to rummage through the stack of notes before him; muttering to himself softly. Kaminaga watched him intently as a means to strengthen his immune system, though he ended up feeling more feverish at the sight of his boyfriend wearing his spectacles again. He remained washed over with an impending feeling of fear and found himself clutching the blankets closer to his face, likewise to a child. His mind grew shrouded with images of Miyoshi tormenting him and teasing him with that lavish tongue of his all over his skin; cold sweats running down his back anxiously as every action and breath he took that only made him crave for Miyoshi more. He found himself trembling once again as his fingers danced their way over to his shaft in surprise that the recollection wasn’t a wet dream and let out an exasperated breath. He tensed in wonder of how he couldn’t pinpoint such a pleasurable experience despite the vivid imagery and yet, it felt nearly fictitious. As if Miyoshi was planning to abolish the remains of his non-existent willpower with his mere presence alone; enticing him desperately, Kaminaga’s fingers then reached out to grasp at the younger man’s wrist, nearly in a dream state of mind again.

“Ah…!” Miyoshi gasped as Kaminaga’s heated touch lingered on his skin and adjusted his rims anxiously with widened eyes; his focus immediately drawn to Kaminaga whose grasp grew firm and urgent. He extended an arm to the fallen cloth on Kaminaga’s face and fixiated at it carefully as Kaminaga panted unwillingly; thankful that Miyoshi wouldn’t be able to tell the blush that was gradually growing from his nauseating visuals. “Do you have an appetite?”

The fountain pen ceased its movements as Miyoshi clutched it into a closed fist; his eyes never wavering when they fell upon Kaminaga’s visage. Kaminaga gently pulled down the mask and hesitantly rose up to lean against the bed board, wincing in pain as he did so. Miyoshi furrowed his brow and pursed his lips before reaching for the rice porridge on the night stand. He shuddered when his fingers grazed the porcelain bowl, frowning at its cool state and took another glance at Kaminaga to reassure his own anxious state of being. Kaminaga tightened his hold even more so when their eyes met; a single hand keeping up the cloth on his forehead and his face appearing more crimson with every passing moment. Miyoshi shivered in knowing in that he wouldn’t allow himself falter to the desperate visual of his fever induced boyfriend begging for him wordlessly; the flushed expression and unsteady movements that were arousing him without fail. He hesitantly found himself pausing at the distinctive touch as a look of concern filled his face, unsure of where Kaminaga’s notions lay. There was peculiar air emitted between the two and Miyoshi longed to unravel it from him, but he forced himself to hold off until Kaminaga was at least well enough to tend to his whims. Clearing his throat and entwining their fingers for a fleeting instant, he stood up from the chair; textbook and array of notes taking his place.

Miyoshi hastily grasped onto the bowl as he left the room. Kaminaga turned his attention to the papers seated before him and found himself coyly grinning. He couldn’t even fathom the idea of Miyoshi sitting in on his classes for him, but it’d also be plain mockery to deny it when the evidence was taunting him in its neatly written and highlighted stack of perfection. Even so, he couldn’t shake this daunting feeling of apprehension that was pummeling him and feared for the worse. He was grimacing involuntarily when he tried to search his mind for more details and was deftly shut out with a sharp pain. A violent cough forcibly escaped him as he attempted to suppress the silent chuckle and turned away from the chair; his head resting back against the bed board weakly when Miyoshi reappeared by the doorway. Miyoshi eyed him skeptically as he approached slowly with a tray in hand. He was watching cautiously as Kaminaga began to pant heavily and struggled to meet his eyes, before returning the tray onto the wooden surface.

“...Miyo...how long...have...” Kaminaga managed between unsteady breaths as the sweat droplets were falling faster. His hand briskly clenched at Miyoshi’s wrist just as he was kneeling next to him on the bed; stumbling and gasping erratically.  “…have I been like this…?”

Miyoshi shuddered at Kaminaga’s breathless expressions when he finally mustered the strength to make a semblance of speech; his hand that made its way to Miyoshi’s palms and proceeded to massage with his thumb softly. Miyoshi raised the warm fingers to his face as Kaminaga parted his lips to speak but fell short when he felt a kiss being planted and grunted as a response. His face only grew into a deeper crimson at the touch and removed himself to readjust the cloth on his forehead. Kaminaga was provoked to remain responsive to the concerned countenance from his boyfriend. He found himself moaning Miyoshi’s name as it felt as if the room was closing in on him; a handkerchief wiping away the perspiration aggravating his well being. He bit his lip and subtly trembled as he almost wanted to force himself away; the images that his mind animated keeping him wary. He wouldn’t know what to do with himself if he was the cause for any undesired blemishes on the only one that held him together.

“...Foolish...Insatiable...The better question is when have you not been like this...” Miyoshi uttered as he placed the now moist handkerchief onto the nightstand before folding it. He took a scoop of rice porridge to his lips, blowing at it as the bowl was clutched beneath the spoon.  

Kaminaga met his eyes slowly as an unsteady breath escaped him. He was aggravated but had no intentions to shake the thoughts away just yet. He mused that perhaps the silly notion was a means to their end after all.

“...Miyo. ...Did I do something to hurt you...last night?”

Miyoshi nearly froze and came undone; his brow furrowing at the words that parted from Kaminaga’s lips. His initial thought was to probe at Kaminaga’s mind, though he knew he wouldn’t be able to get a proper answer in such a state. It was far more enjoyable to tease him in bed after all; even more so with that pleading gaze. Miyoshi slowly took a taste and hummed when his eyes met Kaminaga’s, coyly grinning at the longing stare he received.

“You have the gall to say that to me after what you put me through?”

Kaminaga tilted his head back as he watched Miyoshi’s curiously alluring movements and felt more intoxicated when he slowly licked the spoon clean with a feigned contriteness, holding it up vertically and kneading it within moments to relish in the bits that were dripping away. Letting out a ragged breath, Kaminaga found himself being gracious that he was in this pitiful state that forbid him from achieving an erection. It was evident he'd be finished from a single stroke and wouldn’t be able to live it down if Miyoshi was presented such a pleasure; the thought alone was far too chilling. He pulled himself closer to rebuttal the teasing tongue in knowing that Miyoshi was more than aware of his effect on him, before Miyoshi removed the spoon from his mouth and pressed it to Kaminaga’s lips; keenly listening to his heavy breaths.

He suspected Miyoshi had a certain fondness of being dominated by him (at times), though he had no idea of the extent when his recollection could be playing crueler taunts on him than Miyoshi did on a daily basis. He gripped onto Miyoshi’s fingertips yet again and floundered with widened eyes as he couldn't tell if his judgement was ready to shut down from the morbid torture that was racing through his head. He forced the anxiety away in beliefs that it was just a fictitious hex, growing fearful that if he were to hold on too tightly, maybe then Miyoshi wouldn’t be able to remain as his sole entity any longer.

“Just focus on getting better.” Miyoshi murmured ever so softly and teased the wet utensil at his boyfriend’s mouth as he pulled the desperate hand away. “...You've been out cold since last night.”

Miyoshi went on to mention that Kaminaga had showed up to his apartment in cold sweats just after the break of dawn, without so much as a call or text; completely distant the entire day. His gaze was averted as he retold the events of the previous night with his fingers slowly rubbing at Kaminaga’s frivolously; the older man stubbornly ceasing his boyfriend’s movements as Miyoshi continued and utilized a rather somber tone of voice.

Miyoshi had been waiting on and taking care of him all this time. The chances of Kaminaga inflicting any physical hurt upon Miyoshi within that time frame was far too unlikely, but he couldn’t be certain. He continued to clutch onto Miyoshi’s fingers gently as his tensions grew into ease at a gradual rate, drawing circles with his thumb apologetically. Heaving a sigh, he darted his eyes at Miyoshi and took the spoon in his mouth mockingly; mimicking Miyoshi’s previous actions to test him. After all, Miyoshi was the perfect distraction from the wiles of his mind. He lapped up the taste of the younger man’s saliva ardently as Miyoshi nearly forgot to breathe with Kaminaga’s face so arousing in his weakness. The flushed expression and gentle moans that Miyoshi couldn’t be certain were intentional and yet, far too enthralling for him not to be provoked.  

“...Kaminaga, behave.” Miyoshi teasingly scolded between breaths and an exasperated sigh in utter embarrassment from the crimson blush formulating on his face. His spectacles only served to enlarge the doe eyes that were staring down Kaminaga condescendingly, as if he took no part in this derision.    

“...You…” Kaminaga whispered as his hands grasped at Miyoshi’s shoulders and returned the spoon to the bowl. His voice was low and husky from his feverish state; tantalizing his boyfriend as he drew hot breaths by Miyoshi’s ear and dared him to push onwards. “Feed me with your mouth.”  

Miyoshi bit his lip in response as his fingers grazed Kaminaga’s face; probing open his mouth with a thumb and pressed his tongue down roughly. Kaminaga moaned in surprise as he felt fingers gently dance by his lips before he was forced a spoonful of food inside.

“Then there’d be nothing left.”  Miyoshi remarked without batting an eye, removing his hand and licking it clean lavishly.

Kaminaga swallowed the porridge nervously and licked the corner of Miyoshi’s mouth that had the remains of food; resting his head on Miyoshi’s shoulder when he finished with inconsistent breaths. He couldn’t suppress the sheepish grin that was gracing his lips as the sweet taste subsided in his mouth; knowing that it was the same Miyoshi who had cooked this for him. The one who hated him consuming bitter things and as a result, had made a palate to subdue the harsh flavours he was prone to. Though, Miyoshi would never admit to it. If he was going to be honest to himself, he knew that black coffee wasn’t something he genuinely enjoyed despite drinking it twice a day. What he did enjoy though was Miyoshi secretly adding sweeteners to it and forcing him to drink his London Fog lattes every so often because he claimed he didn’t want it to go to waste. Miyoshi was far too prideful in himself to not lavish in glory from his creations, but he didn’t mind the white lies if it meant Miyoshi would continue to take care of him. As would he continue to bask in every taste of Miyoshi no matter how it was received; no matter the form.

“It’s cold.” Kaminaga shyly mumbled with a flirtatious air and planted a kiss to Miyoshi’s neck, before he was gently pushed back against the bed board; blushing at the spectacles wearing Miyoshi just inches away from his face.

“You’re a filthy liar.” Miyoshi frowned at Kaminaga for the distasteful comment and teased a finger at his mouth again. “Now, open.”

“I’m always open for you, Miyo.” Kaminaga smirked coyly and licked the finger that was pressing against his mouth; sweat dripping down his brow as his teeth began to chatter ever so slightly.

“As you should be.” Miyoshi paused in his tracks and forced open Kaminaga’s mouth to feed him another spoonful of the rice porridge; falling victim at the flickering of his eyes that were stumbling in their attempts to remain roused. Kaminaga gasped when Miyoshi caressed his face with his cold fingertips after he struggled to swallow the food down, twitching ever so slightly. “...Ice cream, then?”

Miyoshi placed the bowl onto the nearby nightstand, removing the glasses from his face to the same location and pushed his hair back. He reached for the small serving of matcha ice cream and mounted Kaminaga; sitting in his lap and opening up the container. Kaminaga rubbed his nose against Miyoshi’s in enamourment, before Miyoshi turned him away with the touch of a fingertip and fed him to pulverize any future antics.

“Hmm...and what if I don’t like this flavour?” Kaminaga lazily drawled when the dessert was swallowed, prior to grasping at the cup of warm tea pressed to his lips.

“That’s to be expected. You only need to like me after all.” Miyoshi smirked at Kaminaga knowingly and softly pushed the small medicine capsule into the older man’s mouth, returning the mug to the nightstand and clutching the ice cream container in his hand. Kaminaga was such a cheeky little liar. As if he could feel disdain towards the dessert flavour they had on their first date. The noticeable blush amidst his fever was proof enough.

Miyoshi gently stripped away the wet cloth from Kaminaga’s forehead and pressed the back of his palm to it. He pursed his lips in agitation as his boyfriend’s scorching temperature had yet to drop and graced him with a rather familiar beam.

“Does my presence alone leave you hot and bothered, Kaminaga?” Miyoshi purred against his lips and planted a finger on them when Kaminaga pushed onwards to steal a kiss; hushing him with a hot breath and a spoonful of ice cream. “Be good. You need to cool down first and regain your appetite.”

Kaminaga pouted his lips at Miyoshi’s mockery and let out a childlike whine as he wrapped his arms around Miyoshi’s waist to draw him closer. Miyoshi let out a hum when Kaminaga opened his mouth to be fed another bite and found himself blushing ever so slightly from the obedient image before him. Kaminaga’s fingers began to tremble as his grasp grew tighter; luring in Miyoshi’s attention with every quiver.

“...and if I don’t...will you leave me all hot and bothered?” Kaminaga was practically moaning against him as the spoon dropped and the ice cream fell upon Miyoshi’s neck in surprise; Kaminaga licking him clean lavishly as he panted. “...Miyo...I’m so cold. Why don’t you warm me up with your body heat?”

Miyoshi gasped when Kaminaga pushed him back on the bed; the fingers of his free hand fisting into the sheets as Kaminaga breathlessly threw aside the blanket and towered over him. He had a mischievous gleam as his fingers made their way into Miyoshi’s palm to steal away the small container from his other hand, pouring it sheepishly over his face. Miyoshi scowled at him vexingly as Kaminaga lowered himself to relish in the matcha ice cream from his cheek; all the while trapping his hands between his head. Though it was all just a ploy to make sure that he hadn’t done any harm to the one he held most precious to him.

“I’m too cold to finish this, but I won’t waste it. It’s much warmer to eat it off you.” Kaminaga murmured barely even coherently and ran his fingertips down Miyoshi’s chest as if to test him; Miyoshi gently moaning at the touch. “Not to mention, appetizing~” He didn’t feel anything out of the ordinary and yet, his nerves were still unsettled.

Miyoshi grunted with every lick and caress as Kaminaga pressed against him harder while the ice cream was being consumed, growing more desperate and nipping at the bare skin. Kaminaga was giving him goosebumps as his hot breath danced on his skin gradually; a low whine being heard from his throat and succumbing to his whims immediately. He teased his way to Miyoshi’s neck and began to bite down sharply; sucking on it when a faint pink mark appeared in mere seconds. The younger man gasped unsteadily as Kaminaga’s kisses became more urgent and gazed at him when they parted, wildly blushing and moaning his name softly. Kaminaga’s fingers travelled up Miyoshi’s chest beneath the fabric of his shirt, pressing down to make certain for himself as he caressed and let out a breath in satisfaction. Miyoshi’s fingers proceeded to dance at the collar of Kaminaga’s shirt and slowly began to unbutton as they were taunting at his bare skin. A hand hastily grasped onto Miyoshi’s with a panicked gape; Miyoshi immediately stopping in his tracks. Kaminaga met his eyes and gasped as the frightened expression wore over him; his shaking fingers falling in Miyoshi’s hands.

“...Kaminaga…?”

Miyoshi quickly drew himself up and snaked his arms around the older man’s waist to bring him closer. His lips parted at the sight of Kaminaga staring back at him with eyes that were searching directly past him. He forcefully cupped Kaminaga’s face in his palms, growing more concerned at every passing moment; hesitating to utter a single thought as it was far too painful for Kaminaga to be with him and yet, have his mind be completely elsewhere. Kaminaga was muttering and panting words of complete dismay; shivering against Miyoshi who tightened his hold. Miyoshi hushed him as his hands ran up and down Kaminaga’s back in an attempt to console him before Kaminaga aggressively captured his lips again; pulling away in hesitation.

“...Let’s break up.” Kaminaga whispered and turned his attention to the wrinkled bed sheets; his breaths continuing at their inconsistent pace. He had a grave expression that brought chills into the once solemn room, as if he had finally accepted what had come to surface.

“You must be more ill than you let off.” Miyoshi began and pulled up the mask over Kaminaga’s mouth before pressing another kiss at him. He pursed his lips momentarily not wanting to reveal the anxious expression that he wore at the sound of Kaminaga’s daunting request. His sense of humour was quite unnerving with such a timing. “Go back to bed.”

“I really am sick, huh?” Kaminaga uttered and forced a smile behind the mask at the staggering Miyoshi before him whose eyes widened, turning away immediately.

Kaminaga heaved a sigh bitterly and pushed Miyoshi back as he rose from the bed, stumbling at every step. He nearly faltered at the grimacing look in Miyoshi’s eyes; the one look that could turn back all of his dubiousness and the only person he knew he wasn’t deserving of. He froze in his tracks as Miyoshi urgently grasped his hand into both palms; his hold that called out that he was cherished and the nervous breath that the younger man could barely even muster in his surprise to beg Kaminaga to stay. Miyoshi's grip only tightened as he attempted to shake him off and was inevitably pulled back closer to the bed. He stood his ground against the desire to turn around to say that it was just another joke, but he knew that was absolutely out of the question. He didn't want to lose touch of the warm fingers that intertwined so well in his own and lose the only one who he knew wouldn’t be able to let go of. Alas, there was no turning back now. Miyoshi would only hurt more if he did so.

“What are you thinking, Kaminaga?” Miyoshi softly mumbled and planted a kiss onto the shaking hand in his grasp, holding it up to his face. “...You’re scaring me.”

Kaminaga trembled at Miyoshi’s touch and the words he managed to muster; words that were falling apart and taking that insatiable pride with them. It was so unlike him and he wanted him to stop with every fibre in his being. Miyoshi was always the unfair one; his downfall and uprising when he saw fit.

“I’m thinking of you. So...please don’t follow after me anymore.” Kaminaga’s voice was shuddering and nearly cracking as every word rolled off his tongue in regret. He freed himself from Miyoshi’s grasp and quivered at how cold he already felt within moments.

“I don’t believe you.” Miyoshi carefully treaded behind Kaminaga, not daring to touch him. Kaminaga was in no condition to be going anywhere, let alone leaving him alone at this hour and yet, Miyoshi knew he wouldn’t be able to stop him this time. Kaminaga was hurting on his own and was roused with fear unwillingly as Miyoshi was well aware of the pain that was seeping out; though, he didn’t want to force him to talk if he wasn’t ready. He let those notions circulate throughout his mind and subsequently found himself to be the blame amidst the tragedy that was unfolding before him. If it would bring Kaminaga back, then so be it.

Kaminaga was panting erratically as he donned his jacket over his shoulders and steadily approached the door with heavy footsteps. He cleared his throat and let out a silent gasp as he too came undone with what appeared to be formulating on his already moist visage; grimacing as it was evident that Miyoshi could sense it without a single glance. It was only natural that one's face would perspire when parting with one's hamartia.   

“Then don’t.”

* * *

A rhythmic tapping echoed throughout the vicinity of the apartment lobby as sunlight began to seep into the windows and Kaminaga peaked open a single eye in discomfort. He winced and caressed his cheekbone in agitation as he dozed off with his face against the wooden surface of the table; barely getting any sleep in this miserable state. The trains had already stopped running when he fled from Miyoshi’s apartment and it’d be foolish to contact any friends at such an hour; not to mention the commotion that would only serve as bothersome to Miyoshi. The Miyoshi whose pleading and desolated face he couldn’t forget. His fingers unconsciously played at the furniture before stopping in their tracks at the deafening vibrations from his smartphone for the umpteenth time. Reaching for it cautiously, he let out a ragged breath through the surgical mask residing over his mouth when it was unlocked; the array of notifications from Miyoshi amidst the single six o’clock alarm that drew in his attention. He hummed as he shut off the alarm and stared back at his reflection in the screen. A peculiar grin graced his lips when he met eyes with himself; strands of hair pointing upwards in disarray and dark circles formulated gracelessly. Preening the crown of his head briskly in shame, he rose from his seat before stretching and departed from the building without a moment's hesitation. Miyoshi would be waking up soon and he grew skeptical that he'd be able to fend off his sharp wits when his name was practically written all over his face. It always was anyways.

Hastily rushing off the train when it reached its destination, Kaminaga found himself scrolling through the unread text messages from Miyoshi and fumbling his pockets halfheartedly for his Suica card. His line of vision was misguided as he was often bumping into people on their daily commute and mumbling a superficial apology behind his mask with a polite bow;  continuing on his way. Re-reading each message as he finished, he realized that they were all sent prior to his late night visit and was noticeably frowning. Though the messages were rather harsh, Miyoshi was undeniably charming when he was vexed and spamming emojis.  

Kaminaga hadn’t been checking his phone or updating his social media regularly in efforts to avoid the comments that’d been striking his attention as of recent. Mentions of holding Miyoshi back because of his troublesome nature, even though the truth was that he’d never once found the words to be true. Perhaps he held a mischievous tendency that seemed more egotistical than nonchalant, yet it was all in good fun. He spent most of his time with Miyoshi after all, so it was only natural to be pushing himself at the expense of impressing Miyoshi with his exuberant charms. Nonetheless, onlookers begged to differ as they spoke of what was once natural as insentient. To Kaminaga, however, it only became of importance when Miyoshi was involved. As selfish as it was, he took pride in seeing Miyoshi come to his side despite the pretentious excursion without hesitations. He lavished in all of Miyoshi’s subtle insults that were as jarring as they were endearing; not that he could lavish in such a pleasure anymore.

Stepping into his apartment, Kaminaga tossed away his jacket as he scurried into the washroom; heaving a sigh when he nearly tripped over his shoes as they came undone. Miyoshi’s personal items could be found at every corner of the vicinity from all the times Kaminaga forced him to stay the night for “studying” purposes; probing his entire body and learning about the enamourous sounds that could be made from a gentle gesture. The punishment was well worth the risk when he was a self-entitled adrenaline junkie. Not that he hadn’t invited Miyoshi for any other reason, but it was difficult for him to stay the night when their schedules were polar opposites and was often at a different campus. He felt disheartened to wake up alone more often than not.

Forcing himself away from the urge to clutch onto the clothes that had Miyoshi’s scent lingering on them, Kaminaga pulled off his dress shirt hesitantly and allowed his eyes to travel downwards. Discoloured bite marks trailed all over his abdomen and followed to his collarbone; a grimacing expression encircling his visage. Pressing his fingers ever so slightly at the damage reflected in the mirror, he began to wince and eyed each bruise cautiously. Miyoshi’s love bites were gentle and teasing unlike the distorted blemishes before him. He was stumbling as his eyes were shutting subconsciously from the pain emitting in his head; a migraine appearing as the recollection of the previous night was throbbing at him relentlessly. The menacing figure was someone with such tendencies after all; someone far too familiar. His father had always been a tyrant while his only son was undeniably masochistic enough to allow him to take advantage of him like this. Yet, it was a decision he would choose to play as many times as necessary if he wanted to claim victory.

Kaminaga’s breathing grew ragged as violent coughs escaped him and his eyes were blurry with the sudden onset of tears. Chuckling bitterly, he grazed his face with his forearm before flinching at the sharp pain when the newly discovered mark became moist. Grunting, he began tracing at the wounds and studying each shape; turning his back to the mirror in dismay.

The sound of silent footsteps were approaching steadily, causing Kaminaga to tense as he briskly wiped at his face and threw on his dress shirt. He gave a quick once over at his reflection and glowered at the disarray; patting down his hair in urgency and rubbing at his swollen eyes. Panting erratically as he clutched at his chest and bit his lip, he was leaning downwards into the sink in efforts to regain his composure. It was far too daunting to take in everything at once and he was steadily filling himself up with increased anxiety at every passing moment. Taking a final breath, he mustered the strength to amble towards the front door; hesitantly creaking it open.

Miyoshi gasped at the sudden movement; greeting him with a panicked expression unveiled in his widened eyes and agape mouth. He was wearing his glasses in public that he seldom chose to do so, slightly fixating at the rims anxiously. Judging from the pale visual before him and rushed morning routine, it was evident he was trying to conceal that he too hadn’t been able to get much sleep. His fringe was straying from its usual place and Kaminaga took notice at the paper bag clutched in his grasp, lowering the surgical mask that covered his mouth.

“...A-About last night…” Kaminaga uttered and averted his gaze when Miyoshi took a step towards him cautiously.

The older man cleared his throat hesitantly and stopped in his tracks. He met Miyoshi’s eyes as they stood in silence, knowing for certain that Miyoshi’s worries were only heightened with the swollen eyes; unable to say anymore. He raised his fingers carefully to caress Miyoshi’s cheek; his fingers dancing slowly until they reached to adjust his fringe. A hand fell on his own when he started to rub at the spot below Miyoshi’s right eye that had the remains of moisturizer, spreading it gently until it diminished.

“Take this.” Miyoshi pulled away Kaminaga’s palm just as it was lowered and entwined with his own; shoving the bag between them with an embarrassed blush forming on his face. He was lightly panting as his brow was perspiring.

Kaminaga took a moment to glimpse at the revised notes and textbook in the bag that shuffled forward, revealing a convenience store container of what appeared to be Miyoshi’s home cooking. He crinkled his brow at the efforts to conceal what was clearly not bought and nearly grinned at the familiar smell of sweetened rice porridge; completely unlike the convenience store variety. Locking eyes with Miyoshi, he grasped at the hand that was gripping the bag and pulled him closer.   

“What about you?” Miyoshi reluctantly planted a palm against Kaminaga’s chest to regain his balance as he stumbled into him, feeling an arm snake around his waist tightly; a quiet gasp escaping. Kaminaga cupped the younger man’s chin with his other hand, forcibly staring a hole into him as he continued apologetically. “Will you let me take you back?”

“Kaminaga...do you trust me?” Miyoshi muttered breathily as he pondered and drew circles at Kaminaga’s chest; all the while returning the intense gaze with one of enamourment. He lowered the bag to his side and leaned forward into him; holding the hand that was at his chin when he was given a quick nod. “Then just come home. I’ll always be taken by you.”

Stuttering and weakening in place from Miyoshi’s words, Kaminaga pressed the shuddering fingers to his lips. He was parting his lips and surprising himself when he nearly provoked his mind to tell Miyoshi everything. It was unfair that he would be teasing him one moment then forcing him to blush wildly from his gentle gestures. Though, Kaminaga had to continue on this ploy until all traces of his father had diminished from his skin. Even so, it was inevitable that Miyoshi would catch on quickly despite his efforts.

“...I can’t...at least not until—”

Dejectedly pulling away, Miyoshi released an exasperated breath and averted his eyes. He taunted his fingers at Kaminaga’s neck and hummed at the sound of a gentle whine; pushing the bag into Kaminaga’s clutch. The older man was observing him curiously and for the first time, Miyoshi found himself wishing he was unable to read the tarnished quiver on his face.

“I have to leave. ...Will you be okay?”

Glancing upwards at the broken expression drawn on Kaminaga’s face, Miyoshi hesitated and bit his lip; not expecting a response. He had an inkling as to what the older man was selfishly doing to himself and mused to himself in uncertainty that Kaminaga lost trust in him after all this time. This happened previously as children, which irked him as he knew they’d already overcome this. Letting the silence consume them before he had to make his departure, Miyoshi pressed the back of his hand to Kaminaga’s forehead and nodded in satisfaction that at least his fever was beginning to settle down. Returning the mask over Kaminaga’s face, he pursed his lips irritably and turned to leave; parting with an unnecessary final word as the tragedy was unfolding again.

“...Okay.”

Miyoshi’s sauntering footsteps were resonating loudly in the vacant hallway as he grew further, turning to face Kaminaga urgently before disappearing again. His dark trenchcoat only served to accentuate the flushed frown and crimson mask before a stray fringe fell over his visage. His lips showcased a scowl and the tips of his fingers were trembling at his side when he left; his eyes displaying absolute dismay in his disappointment. Kaminaga had to avert his eyes when they were blurred and grew drenched in their already swollen state. If ignorance was bliss, he’d prefer to be a masochist.

* * *

Mere moments had already fled into a miserable three hundred hours since Kaminaga last had Miyoshi in his arms. He grimaced at the somber face that appeared before him every so often and shoved him aside with pitiful lies; spouting excuses to all who appeared in concern. Perhaps this busy state of mind wasn’t fictitious after all. He was running after all, in constant disarray as the blemishes were healing through salty tears and overused antibiotics. He even opened the door to Miyoshi’s apartment at the break of dawn this morning; unconsciously. He was spinning the unopened whiskey bottle that Miyoshi gifted him whilst he drowned himself in textbooks; Miyoshi’s notes that were more distracting than helpful. He didn’t require assistance in that course but he found salvation in the scribbles that showcased even the most discreet personality quirks; the boastful use of lesser known kanji and the fading fountain pen that glided with shudders from the time Miyoshi had accidentally dropped it. His ego wouldn’t confess to breaking an anniversary gift and he blamed the caffeine he clearly didn’t drink. Even though he’d prefer ice coffee given an ultimatum, such low class endeavours were not of his taste. Kaminaga didn’t mind of course. It only made Miyoshi more endearing.  

Kaminaga couldn’t stand himself anymore as he stirred in the lonely bed and watched the ceiling as if he were stargazing; eyes widened at the thirtieth hour past rest. That was when he found himself in the same room as Miyoshi who certainly was just as anxious and sleep deprived if it was already sunrise and he was slumbering continuously in denial of the new day. The black coffee that was filling the room with a distinct aroma was mocking him lividly. What once forced him awake was now a tasteless and burning means of stalling. Brushing Miyoshi’s cheek as he released careful breaths, he mused Miyoshi’s name tactlessly before stumbling out of the apartment. Black coffee wouldn’t keep his weakened being sound if Miyoshi wasn’t residing with him. He’d use it to stall when he’d reappear before him again at nightfall. To stall and thwart himself relentlessly for he needed the caffeine fix; the stimulation. He’d need everything and by everything, it was non-existent if it wasn’t with Miyoshi. His boyfriend was most demanding after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya!! Ah~ I'm so happy my clumsy self didn't die and managed to survive exams (゜▽゜;) This took incredibly long and is incredibly long...much much to my surprise a̶s̶ ̶a̶l̶w̶a̶y̶s̶ ̶u̶g̶h̶ ̶I̶ ̶a̶m̶ ̶a̶ ̶f̶r̶e̶a̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶h̶y̶p̶o̶c̶r̶i̶t̶e̶ wwwwww I was debating cutting it in two parts but I wanted this to be possible to be a stand alone as well...my apologies for the length ToT there was lots I wanted to put in and add and that's quite evident I guess LOL I'm just ecstatic that it's finally done and happy I didn't have to end it on a sad note! I'm expecting to do 1 or 2 more chapters before this series is done （⌒▽⌒ゞ I'm so happy it managed to be fluffy for a good bit since I enjoy writing fluff above all (contrary to popular belief) and I hope it didn't come across as cliche because that would make me so peeved ._. It was actually supposed to be more fluffy but considering how the first chapter is, I couldn't not make it a little teasy heehee
> 
> Random but I was listening to the 2 new HoneyWorks tracks hnggggssss!!!! I must have played each track 100 times+ while writing this demon hahaha my ship won yaaassss it's so motivating~~~~Also, do expect a Xmas Kamimiyo smut hahahaha hopefully it'll be released on the day of in JST! It must be done with all the coal I'll be receiving from Satan to keep me toasty //shot
> 
> Thanks for reading and do tell me your thoughts if you'd like! I feel like there's too much descriptions really but I really wanted to paint what Kaminaga was seeing and feeling so...I hope that came across well! I explored this kind of occurrence in a previous fic but I wanted to go more in depth (´∇ﾉ｀*)ノ This will also be cross-posted on my [tumblr](http://ahahahahaderp.tumblr.com/post/154496157948/kamimiyo-roused)


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